As a whole, the collection was great, each piece carefully crafted and all of the pieces fit together like a puzzle to create a comprehensive collection of science fiction that focused heavily on the person. Personal choice, personal freedom, personal development.
The collection spoke to me, because quite frankly these are topics I often struggle with. What does it matter if I act like a good person one day? If I do a good deed? I know I'm not infallible. I know I can hurt people and have done so in the past – both unintentionally and (to my great shame) intentionally. I'll probably do it again (hopefully not the latter). I often think that either way it won't matter in the end what my actions were throughout life. In the face of sometime-death I could just as well become a bad person and live an ok life. I could cheat my way through life and it would not matter in the end. There is no inherent benefit in being 'good' and I often feel like I've suffered enough due to (primarily) depression and OCD that it no longer matters how I act – that life will not improve whether I'm a good person or not.
But let's go back to Ted Chiang's 'Exhalation'.
There were some stories that left me largely unimpressed. Though perfectly executed and detailed like any other Ted Chaing story the titular story 'Exhalation' was one such. It's about entities that run on cogs and gears – 'clockwork' people is not entirely accurate but will suffice for the purpose of this post. They believe themselves immortal until one of them – a scientist – realizes that a) They will die at some point. And b) Their environment is turning hostile towards them because of their way of life.
In a way, the main character's seeking a way out, a way to survive beyond the melting of the sun, so to speak, but they know it is most likely hopeless and the most they can expect is to be found far in the future by a race of archaeologists who might be able to piece together the stories of their lives.
This story was obviously reflective of our own world. Though things work much differently for the clockwork people there's nonetheless an inherent warning relevant to our own world: Observe your environment and be careful of it. No one is immortal. We must find ways to mitigate the damage we're doing to our world and find a way to survive.
I get it. Take care of the environment. Chain yourself to a tree. Hug others. Reduce pollution.
On the other hand there were some stories in 'Exhalation' (the collection) that resonates with me more than the rest. Ted Chiang ponders the question of choice and free will in most of the pieces included. What does it mean to have free will? What does it mean to be able to make one's own decisions? Is there such a thing as fate, or can we actually influence the direction of our lives?
Ted offers arguments for both.
In one of his stories there is a machine called 'predictor'. It's a simple device of a single button and an LED light through which he illustrates how life's choices are predetermined. The LED light will only switch on if you press the button – you can wait endlessly for the light, but the light always follows your press of the button and the mechanism cannot be cheated.
In the rest of his stories however he turns around to argue entirely for the other side of the equation. In one story he grapples with the question whether God has a purpose for us and if He does then what does it mean? Do we lose our freedom of choice if He does? In another story he illuminates through the use of parallel lives how our choices will have an influence on us no matter whether they are good or bad. Do our choices truly matter when there's different parallel realities where we make the opposite choice? Ted argues they do. That every good deed has the potential to improve a person, and therefore improve a person's parallel realities going forward.
I'm not doing the story justice – You have to read it to understand.
The two stories that spoke to me the most were these:
'The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate': This is the first story of the collection and the one that had the most emotional impact on me while reading it. The character's protagonist is a merchant of Baghdad who recounts his journey from the future into the past. In the past, he has committed a sin for which he has tried to atone all his life and which he has regretted since it happened. In the future, he is warned the past cannot be changed, but the merchant nonetheless wants to try his luck. The story illustrates wonderfully how one might observe the past, how one might have influenced one's own past from the future, but it makes clear there is only one fixed way forward. The same events will happen no matter how one tries to change the past. These in turn will make the future immutable as well.
There is something to be said for this story being too much of a denial of free will, but the part that impacted me was the simply fact that no matter what one's intentions are, the past cannot be altered. The past has happened. It cannot be changed.
The second story I still think about is called 'Anxiety is the Dizziness of Freedom'. This is the story mentioned above about parallel lives and whether it matters if in one branch of reality a person makes a bad choice or not. Ted argues here that each time a person chooses the 'bad' course of action, the person sets themselves up for future 'bad' choices. On contrary, if the person chooses the 'good' path, then they are more likely to do the same in the future as well.
This resonates with me because it reminds me of that old saying 'a thousand drops'. A thousand drops, no matter how small, form a puddle, then a lake, then an ocean (Ok, this might be exaggerated, but bear with me.). It means to me that each time we choose to be 'good' people, the urge to choose 'good' again when we're at the next crossroads increases. It means that no matter who we were in the past and what bad deeds we might have allowed ourselves to commit, we can still change whenever we choose to. All decisions are choices. In a way, you can remake yourself simply by doing a small good thing and letting it spiral into more and more goods things over time.
Though both stories can feel a bit on the nose (and in fact most of Ted Chiang's stories in this volume do) there is a clear message I liked: The past has already happened. It cannot be changed. The train has left. The only course of action anyone can take is to look towards the future and decide what kind of person one wants to be.
How will you decide? Will you put your chewing gum in the bin or simply spit it out? Will you help when you see someone in need on the way home or will you tell yourself 'the next person coming by can help' - I'm busy. Will you speak kindly with your loved ones even when you're angry enough your head seems about to explode? Or will you explode on them just to get some relief?
Good choices aren't always easy, but I believe they are definitely worth it. So tell me in the comments below – What good choices are you making to change your life?
