Merry Christmas!

I haven't been able to do too much these last few weeks. I called in ill Tuesday the week before last and haven't been to my day job since because of burn-out. In the first four days after calling in sick I managed to write 40k words because another project fell apart. I'm now working on it from another angle.

Depression's kept me mostly in the house meanwhile. As stated in my last post I ordered lots of food because I was too exhausted to make any. HOWEVER. I have also been more productive with THINGS THAT MATTER (TM) than in the months before.

I have FINALLY FINISHED a novella I've been trying to work out the last two years since early (March) 2015. This is called ELEGY OF THE STARS and you can read the first 'chapter' (It's not really meant to be read in chapters) here: Elegy of the Stars Chapter 1

This novella was extremely emotionally taxing and the last kick I needed - apparently - was the absolute and complete meltdown I had last week. I spent a few hours crying to myself and ranting on reddit and then spent some more hours pitying myself. This happens to me approximately once a year or so. It's no longer a big deal. It stills feels bad. It felt bad enough I didn't manage to send proper Christmas gifts or invite anyone over. (However a quiet Christmas is sometimes nice and it gives me additional recovery time!)

Anyway... let's go back to the novella now that you have some insight in what depression has been doing to me the last few weeks.

As I said this novella was insanely difficult to finish despite being only 30k words. I picked it up and dropped it about 4-5 times before because it was just so incredibly emotionally taxing to write it.

Elegy of the Stars is about this little girl (Oria) struggling to survive on the streets of a small planet called Glast. The plot's already explained in the post linked above so I won't go into more detail. I'd rather talk about the worldbuilding of it! Here we go.

Glast:

This planet isn't in view of any sun (the planet Reath is blocking the sun year round) and so scientists had to make their own artificial star - the Seirios. The Seirios sits on top of the main Administrative building in the only and very small and dirty city of Glast - Oblivion - and the star's light is transported via light pipes to fields and so on to keep the planet lit. The streets are harsh: during the creation of the Seirios radiation went rampant and a lot of people (90%) got infected by the mutation virus that came with it. They're not all that there any more and part of that infected population has formed a cult around the Seirios. There's also miners who like little girls and boys. However the most problematic part of this population is the healthy citizens of Oblivion. They've always had access to the radiation vaccine and they basically rule the planet. They're the cultivators who produce the food and supplies everyone needs but almost no one can afford. They're also not altruistic.

This is the world Oria has to navigate and she can only rely on herself. During the years on the street she's allowed one person to rely on her but eschews all other forms of communication or teamwork with even fellow street rats. This changes when she meets Quinn. He saves her life and suddenly she's in his debt. He has an easy solution to getting rid of that debt but when she agrees to it instead of getting rid of Quinn she falls into even deeper debts to him.

There is a lot of pain and struggle in the story. It's not something that I'd usually write (probably that is why it was so hard). I don't like reading depressing stories and don't like writing them either. And yet. This was a story I couldn't get out of my mind. I mean I could. I got it off my mind a year and then another - but at some point I had to return. I had to try again. And it's finally done!

So what are the next steps?

I've commissioned my cover artist to make cover for the story and I hope to be done with the last edit (spellings and general polishing) by the time the cover is done. And then it's off to KDP!

Again! If you want to read the first chapter please click here: Elegy of the Stars Chapter 1

I'll post some more chapters (probably the whole novella) in the future and will have some small comments about what was so difficult! Tune in if you like.

PS: I'm also always happy about comments!