Hey folks
As you can probably guess by the title this post will be about Heidi Grant Halvorson's book 'Succeed'. (Or so I thought until it turned out my own experiences could become a prime example of why Grant Halvorson makes such a good point in her book). Succeed is one of the quickest and most useful reads (at least in the first third) I've read in the past few weeks (and if you're following my blog you'll know I've been reading a lot. This read at least 1 hour a day thing is working out well for me).
It's my fourth finished book in 2019. (Yes I'm just showing off with this statement.)
Anyway. I never thought I'd relate to someone who uses their children in examples as much as Grant Halvorson does. Seriously. There is something about them in almost every chapter post the one-third mark of the book. This doesn't so much offend me (no matter what that first line might sound like) as it actually intrigues me because this author (as opposed to other self-help book writers) brings almost as many day-to-day examples from her own life than just random laboratory situations into the book. That is enjoyable and reads a bit like a memoir rather than strictly aloof science.
I digress with the examples though. We want to get to the meat of the story.
Let's start with the most important message of the book: It is better to be someone who wants to learn and improve rather than someone who just wants to be good. Why? Because being good leaves you in a huge depression if at some point it gets so hard you're no longer incredibly good or find your work easy.
Case in point: WriteBot.
WriteBot has a history of finding things very easy and not challenging enough. WriteBot does... a little less than its best and still passes every test and project and problem with flying colours. Until it doesn't. And if it doesn't it gets depressed and can't work for months. Story of my life. You'd think a mechanical entity that lives only to write would do great at writing... and yet often there are problems not pre-configured in WriteBot's algorithms. These make WriteBot insanely unhappy when they cannot be solved as near-instantly as all other problems.
A lot of these effects (depression or feeling unmotivated or like a failure) come from what Grant Halvorson calls 'be-good' goals - which are essentially there to allow you to show off. In fact this 'be-good' mindset is a concept she talks about a lot - you have a certain skillset and you're good and you strive to show everyone how good you are. This works when you're trying to hit deadlines maybe or when you want quick results. Any results in these cases is often better than none. Not so in other areas of life/work.
Grant Halvorson then goes on to reinforce (for me) what I've learned after I realized being-good (her label for the kind of thinking described above) just didn't work. The only way to continue after you're somewhat successful and want to reach that HUNDRED MILE ALL IMPORTANT GOAL is to change your mindset to a learning mindset. This, Grant Halvorson calls getting-better mindset, as opposed to the be-good show off mindset mentioned above.
The rest of the book basically builds on those two concepts. There are optimists who often rush rush rush through tasks and do them well but maybe not excellent (be-good mindset). They won't put much thought into what they are doing because they believe they will succeed either way. And on the other side of the spectrum you have pessimists. The ones who think of everything that could go wrong and work much more conservatively. Those are often the people who take their time and try to get-better at things.
Of course it's not that simple. There are other factors to take into consideration as well but this post is simply an overview of the most important point in the book.
That being said... I do recommend you read it. It's short. It's written in an easy-to-understand way (while still being backed by scientific data of Grant Halvorson's and her colleagues' experiments) and the first third in which she explains why be-good can sometimes have disadvantages to getting-better goals is really worth it. The last two thirds are somewhat vague and perhaps a bit rushed for the pages they are given but all in all the book has given me some good information with which to work on my own goal setting skills. I hope it might do the same for you!
Have a good night/day!
WriteBot.
PS: tomorrow I'ma make Kimchi. I'm hyped.
Showing posts with label amreading. Show all posts
Showing posts with label amreading. Show all posts
Friday, January 11, 2019
Sunday, December 9, 2018
Review of Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F***
Hey everyone!
Today's post will be a detailed review of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***.
The first thing that has to be said is this: I'm not impressed. The book is simplistic (nothing in it I couldn't read in a better way in other books written by authors who have actually researched the things Manson talks about) and uses foul language purely for the shock value of 'I don't care what people think of me'. It gets tedious after a while, and who truly wants to read expletives in a non-fiction (or any!) book. It's a lot like putting gratuitous horror scenes into a novel just BECAUSE. I'm not fond of that kind of writing at all.
In this sense, goals as they are conventionally defined - graduate from college, buy a lake house, lose fifteen pounds - are limited in the amount of happiness they can produce in our lives. They may be helpful when pursuing quick, short-term benefits, but as guides for the overall trajectory of life, they suck.
This concept is comparable to James Clear/Darren Hardy's habit forming - a habit is formed by small steps the same as an infinite goal consists of 'small steps' that have to be repeated in order to have a good life.
Manson basically zeroes in on 'A goal must not be definite' (such as 'buy a house') but indefinite (be honest to everyone you speak to). Not 'lose 15 pounds' but set yourself on a trajectory of 'eat healthily/live a healthy lifestyle'. This latter is a permanent change, but you might only be able to start small, or in Manson's words, go from being entirely wrong to being less wrong, and even less wronger after that over time with small changes (ie. James Clear's atomic habits).
At first (own example) you might be 'wrong' by eating willy-nilly whatever you like, including chocolate for breakfast (I'm guilty of this), junk food for lunch, takeout for dinner, and make a small snack in between. Over time, you will become less wrong by learning more information (e.g. in my case: nutrition details, benefits of healthy food for your brain and the rest of your body), and you will start to eat oats for breakfast, still junk food for lunch, still takeout for dinner, and a small snack in between. After a while you learn even more about healthy food (e.g. the health benefits of fish as opposed to meat, and the virtues of almonds for serotonin in your brain), and you will start to eat oats for breakfast, fish with some leafy greens and broccoli for lunch, maybe still takeout for dinner, and you can replace the mars bar snack with almonds and olives.
At some point, you're bound to be a lot less wrong, and your day might look like mine:
yoghurt oats with gooiberries and nuts for breakfast
(usually) meat/tofu/fish with vegetables and starches (rice or potato) for lunch
meat/tofu/fish with vegetables/chickpea salad for dinner
healthy snacks (nuts, olives, carrot/cucumber with hummus)
Of course, I'm still very wrong a lot of the time, because in addition to those healthy snacks, I also eat chocolate, gingerbread, jammy joeys, and all sorts of crisps and other 'unhealthy' snacks, or I'll eat apple pie for lunch, but I'm a lot less wrong for my premises of 'eat healthy' than I used to be with pizza/other takeout for dinner. In addition, I have neither the desire or need to actually cut out all sweets and candy. I like sweets and candy. The only thing I'm still working on is the proportion of candy to real food, and I hope that over time, I'll become less wrong by eating fewer candy still, and by not having the need to eat something sweet almost after every lunch/dinner.
The second 'concept' Manson tries to sell is that 'Negative experiences are positive experiences'. It even makes some sense. Let me explain.
Positive experiences give you a short high, a quick hit of dopamine (chemical released in your brain after you achieve something, the 'happiness' chemical), but after that, you soon crash, because the purpose, the thing you wanted to achieve, is gone as soon as you achieved it. If your goal was to buy a house, for example, and you bought THE DREAM HOUSE, then you're happy about it, obviously, but after a time, this just becomes your status quo, your new normal, and the elation fades.
In order to have more positive experiences you need something to strive for (e.g. something you don't have yet/can never achieve fully). This could be to eat healthy or to improve your writing every day. This is not a finite goal, which you can achieve, and then live happily ever after. It's an infinite goal, because there will ALWAYS be some ways to improve yourself, some new things to learn, and therefore you'll never arrive at a destination, but every problem you solve, every new scrap of learning you can integrate in your work, will give you a sense of happiness.
The third point Manson makes is pain and suffering are vital to self-improvement and the ability to become stronger/better. You might not like it while you struggle, but after a while, you will realize that those parts and projects you struggled with the most are the most fulfilling as well. This ties in directly with the paragraph of negative experiences above. You might feel bad in the process (training makes your muscles ache, and ache, and ache), but ultimately, the sense of purpose you gain from fighting for something you want/love will make you happier than once you've achieved everything you want and have nothing else to work for.
As Manson says "Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments". I translate this as struggle (emotional of physical) = self improvement with tangible results.
You can test this theory by yourself. Have you ever been left out of something you really wanted to do with your 'friends'? Well, maybe that was the time you started to re-evaluate your friendships, and how important you truly are to the people you call friends. This being left out (emotional struggle) leads you to evaluate the friendship and will (if you're honest with yourself and your friends didn't simply make a honest mistake) lead you to the realization you should perhaps look for better friends (= self improvement). It is to be hoped that in the end you'll find great friends who contribute to your life and sense of well-being rather than taking away from it (tangible results).
That's basically all that The Subtle Art talks about. There's also a chapter on death but it was boring enough I don't actually remember it. Is it worth buying/reading? Nah. Not really. I mean, there are some redeeming pieces of advice in it, but most of it is just your standard self-help yada yada. A lot of authors said it better before. Better spend your money on something like Atomic Habits or The Compound Effect. That's how you can really better yourself. Those books are concise and far less flighty. They actually have some practical advice beyond 'only care about things you care about'.
Have a good night/day!
WriteBot.
Today's post will be a detailed review of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***.
The first thing that has to be said is this: I'm not impressed. The book is simplistic (nothing in it I couldn't read in a better way in other books written by authors who have actually researched the things Manson talks about) and uses foul language purely for the shock value of 'I don't care what people think of me'. It gets tedious after a while, and who truly wants to read expletives in a non-fiction (or any!) book. It's a lot like putting gratuitous horror scenes into a novel just BECAUSE. I'm not fond of that kind of writing at all.
In this sense, goals as they are conventionally defined - graduate from college, buy a lake house, lose fifteen pounds - are limited in the amount of happiness they can produce in our lives. They may be helpful when pursuing quick, short-term benefits, but as guides for the overall trajectory of life, they suck.
This concept is comparable to James Clear/Darren Hardy's habit forming - a habit is formed by small steps the same as an infinite goal consists of 'small steps' that have to be repeated in order to have a good life.
Manson basically zeroes in on 'A goal must not be definite' (such as 'buy a house') but indefinite (be honest to everyone you speak to). Not 'lose 15 pounds' but set yourself on a trajectory of 'eat healthily/live a healthy lifestyle'. This latter is a permanent change, but you might only be able to start small, or in Manson's words, go from being entirely wrong to being less wrong, and even less wronger after that over time with small changes (ie. James Clear's atomic habits).
At first (own example) you might be 'wrong' by eating willy-nilly whatever you like, including chocolate for breakfast (I'm guilty of this), junk food for lunch, takeout for dinner, and make a small snack in between. Over time, you will become less wrong by learning more information (e.g. in my case: nutrition details, benefits of healthy food for your brain and the rest of your body), and you will start to eat oats for breakfast, still junk food for lunch, still takeout for dinner, and a small snack in between. After a while you learn even more about healthy food (e.g. the health benefits of fish as opposed to meat, and the virtues of almonds for serotonin in your brain), and you will start to eat oats for breakfast, fish with some leafy greens and broccoli for lunch, maybe still takeout for dinner, and you can replace the mars bar snack with almonds and olives.
At some point, you're bound to be a lot less wrong, and your day might look like mine:
yoghurt oats with gooiberries and nuts for breakfast
(usually) meat/tofu/fish with vegetables and starches (rice or potato) for lunch
meat/tofu/fish with vegetables/chickpea salad for dinner
healthy snacks (nuts, olives, carrot/cucumber with hummus)
Of course, I'm still very wrong a lot of the time, because in addition to those healthy snacks, I also eat chocolate, gingerbread, jammy joeys, and all sorts of crisps and other 'unhealthy' snacks, or I'll eat apple pie for lunch, but I'm a lot less wrong for my premises of 'eat healthy' than I used to be with pizza/other takeout for dinner. In addition, I have neither the desire or need to actually cut out all sweets and candy. I like sweets and candy. The only thing I'm still working on is the proportion of candy to real food, and I hope that over time, I'll become less wrong by eating fewer candy still, and by not having the need to eat something sweet almost after every lunch/dinner.
The second 'concept' Manson tries to sell is that 'Negative experiences are positive experiences'. It even makes some sense. Let me explain.
Positive experiences give you a short high, a quick hit of dopamine (chemical released in your brain after you achieve something, the 'happiness' chemical), but after that, you soon crash, because the purpose, the thing you wanted to achieve, is gone as soon as you achieved it. If your goal was to buy a house, for example, and you bought THE DREAM HOUSE, then you're happy about it, obviously, but after a time, this just becomes your status quo, your new normal, and the elation fades.
In order to have more positive experiences you need something to strive for (e.g. something you don't have yet/can never achieve fully). This could be to eat healthy or to improve your writing every day. This is not a finite goal, which you can achieve, and then live happily ever after. It's an infinite goal, because there will ALWAYS be some ways to improve yourself, some new things to learn, and therefore you'll never arrive at a destination, but every problem you solve, every new scrap of learning you can integrate in your work, will give you a sense of happiness.
The third point Manson makes is pain and suffering are vital to self-improvement and the ability to become stronger/better. You might not like it while you struggle, but after a while, you will realize that those parts and projects you struggled with the most are the most fulfilling as well. This ties in directly with the paragraph of negative experiences above. You might feel bad in the process (training makes your muscles ache, and ache, and ache), but ultimately, the sense of purpose you gain from fighting for something you want/love will make you happier than once you've achieved everything you want and have nothing else to work for.
As Manson says "Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments". I translate this as struggle (emotional of physical) = self improvement with tangible results.
You can test this theory by yourself. Have you ever been left out of something you really wanted to do with your 'friends'? Well, maybe that was the time you started to re-evaluate your friendships, and how important you truly are to the people you call friends. This being left out (emotional struggle) leads you to evaluate the friendship and will (if you're honest with yourself and your friends didn't simply make a honest mistake) lead you to the realization you should perhaps look for better friends (= self improvement). It is to be hoped that in the end you'll find great friends who contribute to your life and sense of well-being rather than taking away from it (tangible results).
That's basically all that The Subtle Art talks about. There's also a chapter on death but it was boring enough I don't actually remember it. Is it worth buying/reading? Nah. Not really. I mean, there are some redeeming pieces of advice in it, but most of it is just your standard self-help yada yada. A lot of authors said it better before. Better spend your money on something like Atomic Habits or The Compound Effect. That's how you can really better yourself. Those books are concise and far less flighty. They actually have some practical advice beyond 'only care about things you care about'.
Have a good night/day!
WriteBot.
Monday, December 3, 2018
On Reading Goals
Hey folks!
As the title says today's post will deal with reading goals! (2018 and 2019!)
I've read 65 books this year and am
going to start reading the 66th (probably) tomorrow. That's approximately twice as much as I managed in the years before that for various reasons. A bit less than a third of the 65 books (20) were
non-fiction.
A few of my 2018 favourites were:
The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley (definitely my number one favourite this year)
The Wrong Stars by Tim Pratt (love Tim Pratt! You must read his books! And he's such a chill and approachable guy.)
Medusa Uploaded by Emily Devenport
Flame in the Mist by Renee Ahdieh (surprisingly awesome YA romance set in a fantasy version of feudal Japan)
Planetfall by Emma Newman (also surprising considering the main character was actually a complete mess)
Thoraiya Dyer's Titan's Forest novels (these are such great fun!)
The Tangled Lands by Paolo Bacigalupi and Tobias Buckell (a short story collection with interconnected stories)
Witchmark by C.L. Polk
Semiosis by Sue Burke
The Kraken Wakes by John Wyndham
I had a vague goal in mind at the
beginning of 2018 to read 52 books this year (one book a week). In
the first third of the year (January to April) I didn't have a lot of
time because of work and wasn't able to read much. In the second
third (April-August) I did most of my reading. I then started to do a
degree... and had absolutely no time to read at all. All the
carefully selected books that I'd bought to read (way too many!)
started collecting dust on the shelves. BUT fast forward to
mid-November and I've decided to quit the degree in favour of
focusing on things that matter to me (including my health).
I've read about 5-6 books since then.
If everything goes well the plan is to
read 2-5 more books this year. As always depending on how much time I
have to read (in addition to writing and planning) and how my
depression is doing day to day. I'd actually love to hit 70 books
this year. That'd be an achievement! Almost twice as much as I've
read in the years before.
If this goal is achieved then next
year's goal is obviously to top it. 70 books this year = at least 71
books next year. Or more. I'd like to get to the 100 books a year
mark at some point, but 60 is the absolute minimum.
The list of books for next year (up to
60) is almost complete... However, I've actually already started
reading from it so might need more suggestions. These are easy to come by apparently. Just yesterday I thought 'I'll never be able read all the books on my (other, huge, ongoing) list' and yet kept adding more and more to them. Today, too. I've found approximately 5 new books that definitely need to go on some reading list.
This means 2019's Reading List (the beginnings of which can be found here) has had a few books added. (And a few subtracted that I've already read. Soulbinder by Sebastien de Castell, The Kraken Wakes by John Wyndham, and The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy - although the last one will require a quick re-read considering I only had it on audio and audio is not ideal for me to retain information).
The new books are these (and I have no doubt the list will be even longer tomorrow...):
44. China Mountain Zhang
45. The Shattered Gates (Rifter)
45. The Shattered Gates (Rifter)
46. Journey to the Center of the Earth
47. The Skeleton Tree (maybe)
48. For One More Day
49 Total Focus by Brandon Web
50. Nightflyers by G.R.R.M.
51. Spellslinger 5 (Absolutely love Spellslinger! You should definitely read it if you're into YA-ish fantasy Westerns)
49 Total Focus by Brandon Web
50. Nightflyers by G.R.R.M.
51. Spellslinger 5 (Absolutely love Spellslinger! You should definitely read it if you're into YA-ish fantasy Westerns)
52. Focal Point
53. Among Others by Jo Walton
54. The Chrysalids by John Wyndham
55. The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham
How about you guys? How's the reading
goal going this year? It's almost time to tally up! How many books do you still hope to read this year?
All the best with your goals from WriteBot! Have a good night/day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)