The Meaning of Success

Hi there again!

This post will start with a little bit about myself and my stories (especially my stories) to illustrate some important points. It's also the first of a series of What I've Learned posts.

I started to (write seriously) in 2012. I was 21. To date I've written 7 books. I don't know whether any of them will ever see the light of day as a professionally published title. Two of those seven novels I sent out to about ten (yes, in total) publishers and/or agents. I got one request for a full and then a swift rejection. Then more rejections.

I often wonder whether these novels-which-didn't-quite-work-out are successes - or not. I think they are. They weren't that great in many aspects. The prose was wonky and often an exercise in 'how many metaphors can I take from books I've read'. The plot didn't come together nicely - and sometimes not at all. They weren't picked up by publishers or agents. But the worst way they fall short is because they weren't read. They didn't bring in any money. BUT. They're successes in many ways.

They brought me joy to write and I still like to think about them once in a while (and who knows? Perhaps at some point I'll pick them up again and make them shiny!). They taught me more about the craft than any craft book, craft blog post, or craft panel I've attended. (And those have been plenty!) I have learned what NOT to do if I want a publishable book and what I could use instead. I have grown as a writer and as an author and also as a person.

At the time it was right.

I had to experiment. I even published one of the novels (the first) on KDP. I sold about six copies before deciding to end the experiment. It wasn't worth it commercially.

Personally? There were a lot of angry rants (mostly to my mom) and tears. But I'm happy I did it. I know what to look for now that I've published something else. This first book will never be available again (at least not in the form it was, which was admittedly atrocious) but I'm ready to give publishing another try. That's why there's six (6!) shiny new short stories on amazon.

Why? I want people to read my work. I want to see if I've gotten better - good enough to be read. I want to know whether someone else is interested in the things (variety) I care about.

Why? If these stories have any value then it's because they are real. They are real in the sense that I've told nothing but the truth. Everything else (remember those 7 discarded novels? Those tens of short stories?) isn't worth talking about. This is why this isn't a craft post. It's a truth post. Like my stories it's as real as I can make it.

And I would call this, at least, a success.